What's Wrong With Me?

Hey girlfriend! Do you have time for a cup of coffee? I want to share a personal story with you but I promise, you won't hurt my feelings if you'd rather pass. I know we like to follow blogs for upbeat and pretty inspiration but today, I just feel compelled to share something else with you.  I consider you a friend, and as friends, it is our duty to look out for each other, right?

click photo for source

 I know that we sometimes put ourselves and our own well being at the bottom of the list because it is our duty, as moms and wives, to care for everyone else.

I know that, because I am guilty of it myself. 

Well, I became selfish and put myself on the top of the list because I just couldn't take it anymore.

{I had an abdominal hysterectomy on Monday.}

 And WHY on earth would I announce that out loud?

Because if me blurting out my insane TMI story gets one mom slash wife slash bottom of the lister, to put herself first, it's worth it to me to air my dirty laundry. 

Because when there is an issue in your body, it affects SO much more than you think. Because maybe one of you have something going on and can't quite pinpoint what it is and you want to ignore it because you just don't have the time to deal with whatever it is. 

 Trust me, just go to the doctor and get checked out.

 Our bodies are amazing pieces of equipment and if things aren't running the way God intended, you risk other issues to follow suit. 

click photo for source

I have always been a healthy, fit person. I've never had issues with weight, have never dieted, never have been a smoker or drinker nor have had any other health issues, whatsoever. 

In my 20's, I was told I had fibroids but they weren't anything to be concerned with since they were "common". Common by whose definition, I am not sure, but just like so many others,

I passed that as acceptable since a "doctor" told me so.

Today, I will tell you those nasty things have caused me more issues than "nothing". And they definitely mess with pregnancy!

I skipped a year of any doctor checkups after we moved. I excused myself because of the move, trying to find a new doctor was daunting and frankly, I just never made the time. All good reasons, right? Sure, but they're nothing but lazy excuses. 

Well, in just one year, I knew things were getting wacky.

My energy level had drastically diminished and regardless of how much sleep I got, I was always tired. I had intentions of doing all these great things but my drive was completely gone. 

  It was really depressing but I could not snap myself out of it. Nothing I wanted to do ever fell into place and I felt like a loser. And a liar. 

Physically, I noticed I started bruising way too easily and I just never felt good. My monthly cycle had gotten unbearable and I could not leave the house for two days each month. I knew there was a problem but I didn't think that everything else that came with this, was linked. I became reclusive and when I did go out, I'd muster up enough b.s. to smile my way through visits and small talk. It really sucked. It still kinda does because I'm not through all of this yet. At least I have the why now because all of this right here, is so not me.

I finally had enough and made an appointment.

I found a great doctor and they took great care of me.

I immediately found out that I was extremely anemic.

My blood pressure was high, which was due to my anemic salt cravings and I was low in vitamin D.

I was eating jar upon jar of pickles and pickled okra. The saltier, the better. 

I got a referral to a GYN so I could talk to him about my fibroid friends.

Guess what? Everything linked back to those damned things.

At this point, ultrasound measured my clustered tumor as the size of a large grapefruit weighing between 6 to 7 pounds. 

Gross.

We talked through all the options but I knew

where we were headed and for me, that was the only solution.

Get it out. ASAP. NOW.

My new doctor assured me that once we took care of this, my other problems would repair themselves.

So we did it. On Monday.

Given my physiology, I wasn't a candidate for the fancy new robotic ways of removal so I had an old fashion abdominal procedure. I'm not vain so I could care less.

Besides, I have a c-section badge of honor already so it wouldn't be anything new.

And that was that. Out she came.

I no longer have to worry about dying every month, no longer have to worry about cervical cancer and I will  regain my old energetic self back. I know it's gonna take a while but I am going to welcome that girl back with open arms. I've missed her so. 

So if you've procrastinated on your own health or put yourself at the bottom of the list for whatever reason, stop it!

We have more worth than we give ourselves credit for.

Taking a little time to get healthy, rejuvenate and get some fresh air in our lungs is a must for our well being. 

If we aren't good, how can we expect to be good for others?

xo